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Greek Village cafe - jokes
Glossy Ja Edb Edb Base
Three married couples, one Jewish, one Irish, and one Greek, all die on
the same day and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
St. Peter asks the Jewish man why he deserves to be in Heaven. He
replies, "I've been a pious Jew all my life, I attended synagogue every
Saturday, and I raised a lot of money for Jewish causes."
"And what is your wife's name?" St. Peter asks.
"Penny," the man replies.
"Penny?!!" shouts St. Peter. "You Jews are all alike. Money, money,
money. You even married a woman whose name has to do with money! Get
out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"
Then St. Peter asks the Irishman why he deserves to be in Heaven.
"I've been a devout Catholic throughout my life, attended church every
Sunday, and always gave generously to the collection plate."
"And what's your wife's name?" St. Peter asks.
"Brandy," the Irishman replies.
"Brandy?!! You Irish are all alike. Drink, drink, drink. You even
married a woman whose name is a type of alcohol. Get out of my sight!
You are damned to Hell!"
With that, the Greek guy turns to his wife and says,
"Fanny, I think we have a problem..."
GOODBY DADDY
A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and
listened to her prayers - which she ended by saying "God bless mommy,
God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa."
The father said, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl
said "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her
prayers,which went like this - "God bless mommy, God bless daddy and
good-bye grandma. Next day the grandmother died.
My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say
"God bless mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. Couldn't sleep all night and got up
at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all
day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get
by until midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so instead
of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee,
looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived,
he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's
the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the
worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what
happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch."
FINAL EXAM
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. The examination was two hours long, and
exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and
told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly
two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A
half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the
professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor
stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began
writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams,
and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the
late student, who continued writing. A half hour later, the
last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his
desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam
on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The
student looked incredulous and angry.
"Do you know WHO I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of
superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of
completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of
the room.
Actual Label Instructions on consumer goods:
aGreek Village cafe - jokesd h h Delightful Delightful Dating
uGreek Village cafe - jokest h Delightful Girls Girls Delightful