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Online Dating: Meeting Face to Face for the First Time
by Kelli Bailor

If you are perusing this article, then chances are you have either decided to explore or venture into the online dating world. Online dating has become a very big part of our society in the last few years, and it seems to have taken the place of meeting people in bars. The biggest part to the online dating process is actually meeting a person face to face for the first time. This can be a little nerve-racking and exciting, but it also may put you way out of your comfort zone. So, in order to make you feel a little more confident and comfortable in meeting someone new for the first time, here are some things to think about that may make your first meeting go a little more smoothly.

Physical Appearance and Expectations of the First Meeting
What is the first thing that you think of when you are preparing to get ready to meet someone for the first time? The answer to this question could differ between men and women, but most often we are concerned with our physical appearance. The majority of men and women know that first impressions are usually the most important element to meeting someone new. Consequently, we tend to take extra care in how we look, feel, and even smell for that first initial meeting. But as we take our appearance into consideration, we should also pay attention to our feelings and expectations of meeting this person.

Often times we have too high of expectations for the first meeting, and then later we feel almost let down. This tends to lead to our discouragement in the online dating world, and also dating in general. In order to keep things more in perspective, we need to try to keep more of an open-mind when meeting someone that we have only been corresponding with online. Online communication and chemistry may be quite different then the in-person communication and chemistry that surfaces. We may feel completely at ease and willing to discuss anything online or over the phone, but when we actually meet face to face, that level of comfort may not be quite what we have anticipated. So, we need to lower our expectations, and see this as just a date to get to know someone better. We should not judge our chemistry and comfort levels by just our online correspondence.

Getting Cold Feet
Most of us have experienced extreme nervousness about that first meeting. This is perfectly normal human behavior. One of the main reasons we get nervous is because we worry about what the other person may think of us. We could be concerned with what we are going to wear, how we look physically to that person, or even how our personality comes across. These factors can leave us feeling overwhelmed and influence our decision to cancel the date. In this case, we are liable to make up excuses for breaking the date, or we may even choose to just not show up! All of us have felt these emotions, and some of us have even pulled a no-show so that we don’t have to deal with our anxiety. But think about the consequences of your actions.

Canceling and rescheduling a date just because you are nervous is not going to make your fear go away. The longer that you wait to go on that first initial date, the harder it is going to be. More than likely you won’t even go out on that date, or maybe they won’t feel comfortable asking you out again. And besides, pulling a no-show is very inconsiderate to the other person’s feelings. No one likes to be stood up! You could be passing up the chance of a lifetime by letting your fear conquer your desire to meet this person! How do you know that this person may not just be the one you have been searching for unless you take the risk and meet them? When meeting a new person, remember that you are not the only one who is meeting someone new. They are meeting you for the first time as well, and more chances then not they are feeling just as nervous and anxious about the first date as you are.

Tell Someone Where You Will Be
It is very important to let someone know where you'll be, especially if you are a woman. For your personal safety, tell someone close to you that you are going out on a date with someone you met online! Be sure to not only tell them where you will be, and what time you will be meeting, but also be sure to tell them who you are going to be with. Some of you may be embarrassed to tell your best friend or close family member that you are using an online dating service to meet people. Don’t be! More and more people are meeting online every day, and it is very important to protect yourself by letting someone you are close to know that you are doing this.

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